Tre fotballvitser:

Three football fans
Three football fans were driving along when they saw a body in the undergrowth. Stopping their car, the three guys ran over to see what they could do. Unfortunately, they found the nude body of a deceased young woman. Being gentlemen, the first guy dropped his Spurs hat over one breast. The second guy, an Arsenal fan, placed his hat over the other breast. The Man Utd. fan then placed his hat over the woman`s very private part. Soon the police arrived. The coroner started checking over the body. He picked up the Spurs hat and quickly placed it back. He then picked up the Arsenal hat and returned it. Then he picked up the Man Utd. fan hat, put it down, then picked it up again inspecting the hat more closely, and then put it down. Then he picked it up a third time. By this time, the Man Utd. fan was a bit irritated and he asked, "Why do you keep picking up that hat? Are you some kind of pervert or something?" The coroner responded with a wry smile, "Son, I can`t figure this one out. Usually when I come across one of these Man Utd. hats, there`s an arsehole under it."

 
The Pope
A little boy from England had gone to Rome on holiday with his family hoping to see the Pope. Anyway, a couple of days after they``d arrived, the Pope was doing a tour of the city in his Popemobile. The little lad was a bit worried that the Pope wouldn``t be able to pick him out in the crowd, so his Mum said "don``t worry, the Pope is a footy fan, so wear your Man City shirt and he``s bound to pick you out and talk to you." So, they``re in the crowd, but the Popemobile drives past them and stops a bit further down the street where John Paul gets out and speaks to a little boy in a Man Utd shirt. The lad is distraught and starts crying. His Mum says "don``t worry, the Pope``s driving around tomorrow as well, so we``ll get you a Utd shirt and then he``s bound to stop to see you." The next day arrives, and the boy``s got on his new Utd shirt. The Popemobile stops right by him, John Paul gets out, bends down and says to the lad "I thought I told you to f**k off yesterday?"..
 

George Best
It was match day and George Best was walking around in Liverpool trying to find Anfield. Accidentally he met Bob Paisley and he asked him “How do I get to Anfield?”.  Paisley: “Lots of training my son, lots of training”.

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Dom flesta killar går ju på dom snyggasta tjejerna va? Slobban och jag går direkt på andrasorteringa. Skadad gods!.